Shout out for Bruce

Along with my love of Dan Hughes (shared by many adoptive parents), I have a huge interest in the work of Dr Bruce Perry . My friend Mrs Crumpet and I have started to send each other any references to his work that we find with the words ‘shout out for Bruce’. Dr Perry work…

Put on your own oxygen mask first

The title today refers to the thing they tell you on aeroplanes, if you are a parent in an emergency you must put on your own oxygen mask first before you help your child because you have to be able to help them. I read this analogy a fair bit in information for adoptive parents…

Deep down, far back, sand and fences

This morning we went very far back and that was before therapy. Small person had been re-enacting some stuff and once I got them safe and stopped we were able to talk about it. Small person was able to tell me things about their early experiences and ways that they kept safe. It was one…

Fifteen hours and counting… 

The clue is in the title.  Small person has been awake for fifteen hours as I’m writing this. We got up at 2.50am.  There were long lonely hours of CBeebies iPlayer, a bath and an interlude in which they tried to take their plastic scissors to my clothes. Small person went to school and I…

The Edge (and I don’t mean the guitarist from U2)

Here’s what I think is happening; two years ago this time of year was one of uncertainty for small person they knew stuff was changing but they didn’t know what or how. As consequence this time of year fills them with uncertainty.  I think that small person is really worried on a subconscious level that…

A hard day but not alone 

It has been a really difficult day today.  Small person nearly fell off the pony this morning and has decided it’s too scary and they won’t ride ever again. The rest of the day has been variations on a theme of ‘everything you do or say is wrong’ with bonus elements of ‘doing the total…

Another Friday night dinner story 

I miss the heady days of Friday night pizza for tea. I really do.  Small person has decided that we have to have the complicated salad that we made in half term for tea on a Friday instead.  In theory this should be a lovely tradition we’re making together. That’s the theory.  In reality it…

Chaos in its many forms 

Sometimes chaos looks huge in our house. It looks like hurting and running and throwing and breaking.  Sometimes chaos is smaller, it’s not so constant but it leaks out. It appears through screaming and shouting requests or answers to innocuous questions like “would you like smoothie to drink?” Answer “NO I WANT SQUASH” followed by…

On tiredness and being understood 

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned lately but I’m very tired. I know reader, you’re thinking “oy, enough with the tiredness already Mummatron”. But I am. Tired.  Small person was awake twice highly distressed between 11.30 and 11.40pm, then when I got into bed I had what I can only describe as a projected anxiety…

Singing a compliment 

It has been since I last slept many hours. I think the grammar of that sentence implies a great deal. Small person woke up again at 10pm last night then we got up at 4am.  This morning after a lot of tired chaos seeking I got small person lying down and I sang ‘Rock a…

What was that noise? 

Bonfire night has pushed small person into massive aural hyper vigilance.  “What was that noise?”  That is the question that occupies every single second of small person’s waking time at home.  Noises in question today have included: Me putting a teaspoon in the washing up bowl.  Me drying a plastic jug with a tea towel. …

It’s a long story 

Small person has been asking about when I used to look after my god children when they were little. One of the things they have been most interested in is that I used to make up stories for them before bed. This afternoon small person asked for me to make up a story for them. …